I started a blog back in 2006/2007 during my first pregnancy. I was able to update it and post new blogs but that all changed after my son was born. There was nothing more important to me than to spend every minute of my time with him. There is nothing so precious, so beautiful, and so unexplainable about looking at your newborn and thinking of how blessed you are to be able to make such a cute, little tiny replica of yourself! You look at this little creature and your head is filled with mixed thoughts about how you want to raise them or how you can always protect them from everything. Your heart is filled with so much emotions you cry tears of sadness, that they will grow up on you so fast that eventually they won't need your help anymore; tears of anger, for the thoughts of anyone harming your precious child or exposing your child's innocence in this corrupt world; and tears of joy, the most unexpected, unexplainable emotion for being blessed and for being a proud new parent. A different kind of love and bond exist between a mother and her child, it is strong and its unlike anything you've ever felt for anyone.
I was 20 years old when I had my first child. My pregnancy wasn't exactly planned, therefore it led into frustration as I watched my hopes and dreams crumble in front of me. I wish I hadn't felt that way, if I could turn back time I would be more happier and more excited! As the weeks went by it finally sunk in, I've accepted that things happen for a reason and my pregnancy is not a mistake, it will never be a mistake. Our excitement grew everyday and each day we anticipate to feel any movement.
My life has changed when I heard the first heartbeat, I knew then that is was real. You know that special bond I was talking about..this was one of them! I remembered every hopes and dreams that I had..none of those matter now. I was angry at myself for worrying about other things instead of putting my baby first. Days went by and weeks turned into months..many things have changed and our excitement and anticipation grew even more after the first and second ultrasound. Our life was changing, there was many ups and downs.
Pregnancy brings out the best and worst of us. My mood would quickly changed from happy to annoyed, from being sleepy and tired to being wide awake at 3am! We've all learned to deal with strangers asking us questions such as, "How far along are you?; "Is it a boy or a girl?"; "Have you picked out names?"..etc.
I was overwhelmed with so much pride and joy the very first time I held my son. When you thought you could love enough..you realize you were wrong. I became a full time stay-at-home mom and I cherished every minute of it. Taking pictures of your little ones has become your past time. Putting photo albums and scrap books has become your hobby. The camera and camcorder are always at your reach so you won't miss anything. Staying up and getting up in the middle of the night or early in the morning has become part your routine. You shared every moment with them you're happy when they're happy, you worry when they're sick, you feel bad when something is wrong..and you're always there to cheer them up when they're sad.
The last three years have gone by very quickly! My son is now almost three years old. He is so much more independent and he even knows how to go and use the bathroom all by himself. It seems not too long ago that I was changing his diapers and potty training him. I must say that its nice that he is so much more helpful and less dependent on us but the downside is that he's growing up so quick and he doesn't want to cuddle as much anymore :(
Motherhood has changed my life, its much more lively and full of surprises..by that I mean it could be any surprise from finding hotdog pieces and goldfish crackers in sons toy box, to finding the whole roll of toilet paper unrolled and in the toilet, to nice great big hug from my little one! I wouldn't change a thing about my life...except that hopefully one day we can conceive again and expand our family!
*Much love!*
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