For Love is the most powerful word and action, man was ever taught; Love is what we are and children are the greatest gift of Love.

     Second round of Clomid = EPIC FAIL! I feel so helpless and I don't know if I want to keep trying anymore. My side effects this time were so bad! I felt like I was going to die in my sleep. Arrhythmic heart beats and hot flashes, fever and body aches, I just couldn't go through that again but I feel super sad, maybe even a little depressed that we can't conceive another child. Now that I want it really bad I can't have it. 

     I took two PT's and both were negative. You can only take so many negatives and until you start to feel like a complete failure. I don't know what we're missing. My progesterone test showed that everything is normal. I took an OPT and did the baby dance until we can't do it anymore lol! I can try again but the serious side effects of kidney failure and ovarian cancer is seriously freaking me out. Jaa has been supper supportive but there's only so much he can do. We both want this but I feel like I should give up. Ugh! It pisses me off! I start another round of Clomid tonight. I'm still debating. 

    Another thing that makes me angry is finding out that another 17 year old chick that I kind of know got knocked up and she is considering abortion. It was all over her FB! That seriously makes me angry because here I am, ignoring all the possible serious side effects that can potentially kill me just to be able to conceive again! It makes me sad and angry! There's my rant!

    On the good side, we are moving to a new house, a bigger house, our own house :) I'm going back to my nursing job part time mainly because I get so bored at home. Don't get me wrong being a stay at home is great but I need a vacation once in awhile ;)